It can be argued that RSVP cards are the most important piece of your wedding invitations. This is how you will receive word of how many people will be attending your wedding, and who will not be able to make it. This card needs to have any information about your guests that you need to reiterate to your vendors, like your venue and caterer. There are so many possible versions of RSVP cards to choose from, it’s easiest to go piece by piece and determine whether or not each option is necessary to include on your response card.

 

SPOT FOR NAMES

No matter how you word it, it is necessary to include a spot for your guests to write their names. Not only will this be important for your own records of who responded, but it also gives insight into the names of plus ones or children who are attending in addition to the main guest who was invited.

 

ATTENDING / NOT ATTENDING

It is customary that there is a spot on your response cards for your guests to check whether or not they are attending. Guests are expected to send a response whether they are attending or not, and this will give a clear indication to you when you are creating your guest list. This piece has endless options as to how to word these pieces, from the more formal wording (like “Accepts with Pleasure” or “Declines with Regret”) or the less formal (like “Can’t Wait!” or “Can’t Make It”). This wording is obviously up to your style and what you like.

 

DATE TO RETURN BY

It is very important to give your guests a deadline as to when you need their response by. This date is dependent on when you need your final numbers for your vendors, with a little extra time just in case you need to reach out to anyone. For example, if your venue and caterer need the final number of people attending 3 weeks before your wedding, a good rule of thumb is to add one week to that deadline and make your RSVP by date four weeks before your wedding.

 

THE STAMP

If you are requesting a mailed response from your guests, it is proper etiquette to include the stamp for easy returns. It is often seen as rude to make your guests pay for their own stamp. If you are looking to save a bit of money, and you do not want to pay for an additional stamp, you should always include another way for your guests to RSVP. This can be online on your wedding website, or by phone/email. Then, if your guests prefer to save a stamp, they have another option and you save the money by not having to include a stamp to begin with.

 

 

MEAL CHOICES

Whether or not you include meal choices is entirely dependent on how you will be serving your food. If you are providing a plated meal, where your caterer expects a certain number of people per meal choice, then it is necessary you include options for your guests to check what type of meal they would like. To make it easier to determine who is eating what, think about including a line of text that requests initials next to the meal choice, instead of just a check mark. Then, when you have multiple guests responding on one card, you will know what meal choice each one would like.

 

DIETARY RESTRICTIONS

This addition to your RSVP card can be helpful no matter what type of meal you are having. If you are having a plated meal, and are only including an option for a vegetarian meal in addition to the main meal choices, including dietary restrictions can let you know whether your caterer needs to be aware of other restrictions, like being vegan, gluten-free, or allergies they may run into. If you are having a buffet or something similar, your caterer may need to know about restrictions so they can have separate meals for those people, another option for anyone with restrictions, or so they can try to avoid certain ingredients due to allergies.

 

NUMBER ATTENDING

Although not required, because you should be able to count the number of guests based on how many names are written, it can be helpful in case what is written is not clear. This can be included under the spot you have where your guests will check whether they are attending, or as an additional line of text that asks your guests to write in the number attending in the blank or box that says they are attending instead of not attending.

 

NUMBER OF SEATS RESERVED

Similar to the Number Attending, if you are specific about the number of seats you are offering to your guests, and do not want any more than that responding, it can be beneficial for you to write in how many seats you have reserved for them. Although guests should understand that only the people addressed on the outer envelope of the invitation can respond, there have been instances of more people who RSVP than you may have intended. Adding a spot that lets each guest know how many seats you have reserved can keep this from happening.

 

“M”

Ever wonder why so many invitations you see have an “M” with a line after it on the RSVP card? This “M” is an old fashioned element that many guests may not understand what it is or what to do with it. The M is supposed to be the first letter of “Mr” or “Mrs” as a guide for guests who are writing in their name with their prefix. The M is already included, and therefore guests should only write “r. Smith” next to the “M,” but I’ve seen couples use this and many people do not write their names in the right way. This might be a reason not to include it at all. A lot of designs these days does not include the “M,” but rather “Names:” or something similar to let people know that is where their names should go.

 

SONG REQUEST

As a fun addition to any RSVP card, couples these days are starting to add a spot for their guests to write in a song they’d like to hear to get them dancing at their wedding. Obviously, this is completely optional because you don’t need this information. But if you’d like insight into what music your guests will like so your wedding is more fun for them.

 

REHEARSAL DINNER

If you’d like a physical RSVP from guests that will be attending your wedding and your rehearsal dinner, it could be a good idea to have two different RSVP cards. One for your regular guests, with just wedding day responses requested, and another for those you’re inviting to your rehearsal dinner as well. This can be as simple as an additional line of text and a blank spot for people to check whether they will be attending both. This is especially helpful if you are having a larger rehearsal dinner, with more than just your immediate family and bridal party.

 

NOTE

As a final option item, you can include a spot for your guests to write a note back to you with their response. This can be a nice addition, and something that can make their responses more personal. I imagine that, as a stressed out soon-to-be-married couple, it would be a feel-good moment to open your response and see a note from your loved ones about how excited they are to attend your wedding.

 

NUMBERING YOUR CARDS

One thing many couples don’t think about is numbering your cards to help you keep track of them. I’ve seen it done with a regular pen, though it can easily interfere with the clean look of your invitation. I’ve also seen this done by using an invisible pen and a blacklight so you can see the numbers but your guests cannot. Doing this can be a good idea to not only easily keep track of the invitations, but as a precaution in case you can’t read the handwriting of the person who responds.

 

 

SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT

 

ENVELOPE RSVP VS. POSTCARD RSVP

Response cards are typically sent back as either a postcard or as a card in an envelope. As a designer, I recommend sending RSVPs in an envelope for a couple of reasons. Yes, postcards are slightly cheaper, but not by much. The postage that needs to be included for your guests to send it back will be the same either way, but envelope RSVPs are only more expensive by the cost of the envelope that you put them in (which typically isn’t more than $20). The reason I recommend envelopes is for two main reasons. One, because sometimes the information on the response cards is personal and you don’t want anyone to be able to see it, and two, just in case it comes into contact with water or dirt, the envelope will protect it from the information on the cards getting messed up. In the end it’s completely up to you, and whether you want to spend the extra money for envelopes, but it’s something to consider.

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Something to keep in mind is, although I listed a lot of optional elements you could put within your response card, it doesn’t mean that you should put all of them. You don’t want to overwhelm the card by including too many things for your guests to fill out. Instead, figure out which are necessary for your wedding. Many couples only include the “necessary” elements I included above to keep it simple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to drum up a list of all those little things you may be considering, and an idea of why or when you might want to include them. Hopefully it helps a few couples narrow down the information on their wedding invites.